Less Contempt and More Civility Please

"I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House"

"John McCain is not a war hero"

    I’m a person who deeply cares about relationships, so I study every facet of them. Relationships are valuable and fragile, and most of us know that they can be surprisingly fractured, often beyond repair. Relational estrangements abound all around us, ranging from toxic friendships to nasty divorces to political brawls to religious jihads to all-out wars. And, somewhere along the line, all of us, in one way or the other, get caught in the crossfire of such devastating, gut-wrenching experiences.

    Interestingly, some of the most insightful relational experts I’ve read indicate that there is one telltale sign that often signals the beginning of the end of a relationship: contempt. When contempt surfaces amid any disagreement, the intemperate contenders “take the gloves off,” so to speak. And, unless the gloves are put back on soon, all hell usually breaks loose. This is what I see increasingly happening in American politics and culture, both on the left and the right. Vigorous disagreement (a good, healthy thing) degenerating into malicious contempt (something ominous and dangerous).

    So I entreat you, as a fellow-American, whether you claim to be part of some declared moral majority on the left, or some declared moral majority on the right (or somewhere in between), keep your contempt to yourself. And if you haven’t kept your contempt to yourself, put the gloves back on before our country implodes.